Writers Block

Feedback: kriscat@gmail.com

Rating: R

Category: Pure sap, and fluff.

Summary: Clark has writers block and writes Lex a letter.

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters from Smallville. But I've adored Superman since before I learned to read, and shamefully must admit to having a crush at John Shea in 'Lois and Clark the New adventures of Superman'. *^_^* I was young...

Big hugs and thank you's to my beta Carrie.

Clark sighed and rubbed his eyes. Despite his Kryptonian physique, he'd stared at his computer screen so long his eyes hurt. He'd put on music. Rock and roll, classical, country, and even N'sync. Nothing worked. He'd tried in dead silence, and he still came up empty.

He'd gone after something to eat. An old slice of pizza he'd found in the refrigerator that must have been left since the day before yesterday was the only thing he'd found. And boy, was he glad for his stomach of steel... He'd gone after something to drink, and got the same result. No matter what he did, his writers block stayed.

And wasn't that just typical? He was always writing down stuff in his spare time, but now when he had to turn in a short story for his writers' class, he was completely out of ideas.

Suddenly, he remembered something his literature professor once had said: "If you have writers block, stop trying so hard and just sit down and write anything at all. Anything that comes to your mind. I don't care if it's a list and commentary of all the people you've ever dated. Just write."

Clark smiled. Write what was on his mind... Write about what was always on his mind.

Lex walked into the dark apartment. He was so tired. Some days were just not worth getting out of bed for. And this one was a perfect candidate. Meeting after meeting, report after report, and problem after problem. And they all turned to him to fix things. Sometimes, being CEO of LexCorp wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Lately, business had been good, and that was great. But it also meant that it took more and more time from him. Time he could've spent with Clark...

This was the third night he'd came home after midnight, just this week. He missed Clark. And Clark was probably asleep, and had to be up early to get ready for class tomorrow, which meant they would hardly see each other at all.

Walking into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of orange juice, he noticed Clark's laptop on the kitchen table. It was turned on. And that was so strange he touched the key board to get rid of the screen saver.

Hi Lex, the screen said in large letters. Lex smiled and sat down. I'm having writers block today. The message continued in smaller letters. A professor once said to me that incase of writers block, just write what's on your mind. And what's always on my mind is you. :)

Ever since that first day on the bridge, you've been there, making me question everything and see things from a different light. Before that day, I just thought I was a normal freak, well, normal for Smallville anyway. You hitting me, made me question my parents, and to demand an answer. Dad would probably say it was the beginning to the end, but you're right, knowledge *is* power. And although the truth was hard to accept at the time, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's another truth; I love you. I think I loved you long before I realized it. Those years I chased after Lana, make me cringe now. But at the same time, they make me awed. Awed of your love for me. Because you loved me, and still did everything in your power so I would end up with Lana.

Lex squirmed in is seat.

Stop squirming, Lex. You know I'm right. I'm just glad I realized I'd rather have the guy of my reality, than the girl of my dreams. It sounds sappy, but it's the truth.

The Lana I thought I loved, the girl I only watched through my telescope, was a fantasy. And I'm glad I realized that. I'd much rather have the true Lana as a friend than to keep yearning for a fairy princess that never existed in the first place. I had this fixed idea of who Lana was, and she had her perception of how I was. We never saw the true us. It was doomed to fail.  I think I just loved the idea of love.

But this was to be a letter about you, my love. I don't love a fantasy Lex. You are very real to me, and I think I'm the only one who's ever seen all the sides of Lex.  I treasure that. Treasure the trust you have in me to show me all of you.

I love the Lex who gets excited over the new issue of Warrior Angel just as much as I love the Lex who gets an almost manic gleam in his eyes when he's plotting a strategy for his political agenda for the next ten years.

I love the Lex who in the middle of the night can sit straight up with a shout, turn on the light, scribble down some thoughts or ideas on the pad always sitting on the bedside table, turn of the light, and promptly go back to sleep. And then not remember anything of it in the morning.

I also love the Lex who isn't completely human until he gets his first cup of coffee in the morning. I kinda like the growls and grunts that go as speech during that time of the day.

I adore the Lex who just sits and smiles when my father forgets himself and mumbles something about Luthors. And the Lex who, when my mother was sick, sent her own bed linen and pictures to the hospital, just so she would feel like she was home.

I know you're an arrogant, obnoxious, know it all, who sometimes goes a bit too far to get what he wants. And I love you; not despite of this but because it's a part of what makes you, you. I also know that you're loyal to a fault to a selected few. A gentle and tender lover. And that you have a tendency to do good deeds and then pretend they never happened. I love that too.

I love that while you might have a hard time saying the words, you still show how much you love me with every action. I love the way you kiss me, whether it's a gentle, sweet kiss just because, or a hard possessive one when we make love. Your kisses tell me so many things.

I love the way you look at me, like you can't really believe I'm there, and then when you realize that I really am, give me a smile like I just gave you a hostile takeover for Christmas.

I love the way you always know what I need. When I need a fast hard fuck,  a long tender love making, or just someone to rant to. Somehow, you always know.

And most of all, I love that you love all of me in return. Lana loved me because I made her feel safe. Just like she loved Whitney. When he left Smallville, she turned to me to be his replacement. You love me. And not because I'm a replacement for someone else, you love me for being me.  All the freaky parts of me. And that makes me feel safe. But that's just one of the benefits. I know that if I ask you what, on a fancy restaurant's menu, is safe to eat, you'll love me just as much as if I rescue you from terrorists. And that when the day is over, you'll just as well stay the night in, cuddling and watching TV on the couch as me flying us to some exotic hide away.

I love all that, and what's more, I love sleeping with you. And I don't just mean making love. I love it just as much when we just lay in bed, snuggled close, just relishing that we're together. Have you noticed that no matter how we lay when we go to sleep, we somehow end up in each other's arms some time during the night? Who would've thought, Lex Luthor was a cuddler? ;)

Lex wasn't sure he liked that. But it was the truth; with Clark, he was a bit of a cuddler. But it was only with Clark that he'd ever felt so relaxed and safe enough to do so.

But maybe that's just with me. Clark continued. And, you know, liking to cuddle with your significant other is not a sign of weakness...

Lex smiled, Clark knew him so well. Five years ago that would've bothered him, but now, he kind of liked it. As long as it was only Clark who'd figured him out.

I've missed you terribly these last couple of weeks. I know there will always be weeks like these, with your schedule and my tendency to go out and save people and stay in collage at the same time, they are unavoidable. But just half of the things I've just listed would make it worth it. And I could list even more things I love about you.

But since I know how you detest sentimental nonsense like this, I'll just say that I also love your great body. So, turn of the computer and join me in the bedroom for some us-time, lover.

Clark.

Lex grinned and turned off the computer.

Soon, in the Kent-Luthor bedroom, a fun time would be had by all.
 
 

The End